The Amazing Birth of Siana

I am grateful to all the women from whom I learned about natural childbirth, to my mother who fully supported me, to the two very special men who were by my side and shared this unforgettable experience with me, and to Siana for coming into my life and for everything she is!

My name is Teodora, and this was my first birth. I managed to experience it in the way I wanted and imagined; reality felt even more magical and emotional than in my dreams. I believe I’ve had many adventures and wonders during my 29 years, but this is my most exciting and fulfilling experience! My little girl Siana was born on April 14, 2010, at home and in water, in a very intimate and romantic setting, with all our love and completely naturally.

I enjoyed the entire process, which unfolded gently and gradually. Without stress, without haste, without bright lights, without unwanted people, without internal exams, without interventions, and without stitches...

I am from Bulgaria, where any alternative to hospital birth is considered illegal. Home birth is prohibited.

It became ingrained in my consciousness that every woman instinctively knows how to give birth, that her body knows, and all she needs to do is surrender to the process.

I chose Emilio Santos to attend my birth. At first, I thought about choosing a woman and midwife, but in the end, he earned my trust. I believed that with him, the possibility of a hospital transfer—my greatest fear—was lower. I also thought that, as a psychiatrist, he might be able to help me if I became too overwhelmed during labor.

The care during consultations was incomparable to the gynecologists I had seen. He inspired great optimism. During the first consultation, he asked me what was most important to me during childbirth. I said intimacy and a sense of freedom.

I also mentioned that I imagined childbirth as something very romantic, to which he replied that it is—an act of love, the culmination of a woman’s sexual life. He dispelled my uncertainties, answered all my questions, gave me suggestions for the placenta, and addressed everything I was curious about. He also told me that emotional women like me tend to have very good births and that, with my mindset, predisposition, and everything else, my birth would be as well. What a difference from what most doctors say to pregnant women!

My estimated due date was April 12, but I envisioned giving birth on April 14. Until the very last day, I had many personal tasks to complete, even mental ones, and all of them needed to be done during pregnancy. As a result, I didn’t feel emotionally ready. Every day, there was something especially important to finish before the baby’s arrival. Additionally, I loved so much the feeling of carrying this little being inside me that I wanted it to last a bit longer—because once labor begins, it’s irreversible.

My last days of pregnancy were beautiful but also deeply emotional. Two days before my due date, I noticed a strong nesting instinct. It was Saturday, the weather was lovely, I felt wonderful, and my partner and I were getting ready to go for a picnic at Retiro Park. But I needed everything to be prepared at home before leaving. I became upset with my partner because he was impatient to go. I tried to appear happy, but I was missing the romance; I didn’t feel comfortable. I wanted my last weekend as a pregnant woman to be special, so by the end of the day, I was sad and angry.

I felt like my partner didn’t understand me, didn’t want to be with me, and had no desire to help me prepare the house. We argued for hours, but the situation only worsened. I cried endlessly, lost too much energy, and couldn’t sleep at all that night. As a result, I woke up with a horrible headache. I felt so desperate! It was already Sunday, and labor could start at any moment. Where would I find the time to recover?

I thought everything was ruined. I felt so tired and terrible; the headache wouldn’t go away no matter what—homeopathy, massage, or other techniques I knew. I kept crying and crying. It felt like all my efforts had been in vain... I had ruined everything on my own! The idea of needing to go to the hospital due to exhaustion or a similar reason horrified me, and I said I’d rather die...

At one point, I was so drained that I had no strength left for any emotion. Fortunately, I vaguely remembered a mental technique for releasing negative emotions that I had learned in a course. I improvised a lot as I used it to get rid of everything I didn’t want to hold inside me. Then I imagined myself bathing under a magical waterfall that washed away all the negativity, leaving me clean, calm, and renewed. I finished with a long relaxation session.

In two hours, I felt like a new person—transformed, radiant, and strong. I took a shower, practiced a little yoga, hugged my boyfriend, and we went out to enjoy a wonderful, romantic picnic in the sun. I felt exceptionally happy and told my baby that I was finally ready and delighted to welcome her at any moment. I suspected that my little girl was already ready to come out, but nobly, she was waiting for me.

Blissful relaxation in the warm water

The next morning, I felt the first signs of labor beginning. It was my estimated due date, April 12, when I woke up and noticed I had lost the mucus plug and was experiencing very light, almost pleasant contractions. It was the first time I had ever felt contractions. I experienced them as a tightening in my abdomen that didn’t bother me at all.

Realizing that labor was starting, I felt a wave of happiness and excitement! I spent a delightful day with these early contractions, full of enthusiasm and joy. I was able to do everything I wanted without discomfort—I danced at home, prepared the baby’s clothes (something I hadn’t had a chance to do until then), sang to my baby, practiced yoga, and called my boyfriend twice. The first time was to share the good news that the contractions had begun, and the second time was to suggest he come home so we could prepare the house and the birthing pool since we didn’t know how quickly things would progress.

The contractions seemed short but regular; however, they stopped by the time he got home. Even better—we took the opportunity to prepare everything we needed and spent some time together. We took photos and videos, enjoyed amazing sex, and then went out for a walk and a bite to eat. I used the opportunity to order something spicy, like vindaloo chicken at a cozy Indian restaurant. I love spicy food, but it’s not recommended during pregnancy and breastfeeding, so this felt like a special treat.

At the restaurant, my contractions returned. I relaxed and calmly waited for each wave to pass, feeling completely at ease. On our way back, we laughed a lot and walked hand in hand. I felt so special!

Back home, we made love again. Since my membranes were still intact, it was the best thing we could do. After the orgasms I had that day, combined with the spicy food and movement, it’s no surprise that the contractions became more frequent. I spent the whole night on the floor, mostly on all fours, finding the most comfortable positions.

I also enjoyed rocking my pelvis on the Pilates ball, but I soon stopped because it made noise, and I didn’t want to wake my boyfriend. I preferred to let him rest since I knew he’d need his energy later. The cat-cow position was just as comfortable for me.

I felt relaxed and confident. Even though I had already missed a night of sleep earlier that weekend—making it two sleepless nights in the past three days—I still felt strong and capable. I couldn’t lie down or simply relax and focus on my breathing. What I needed was to move and find the most comfortable positions, breathing as slowly and deeply as I could, riding each wave as it came.

It felt so good to completely clear my mind, tune in, wait, rise, and let myself be carried by the waves—rising and falling like a surfer during a summer on the Atlantic...

The next day, the contractions continued. They came every 8 to 10 minutes until the afternoon, still in a very early phase. I got into an all-fours position and, during the pauses, tried to finish reading the birth preparation materials I had from my courses to understand what to do in different situations and how to help myself. Truthfully, I never managed to read them fully, and of course, in that moment, I could barely get through one or two pages. Nonetheless, I felt calm and reassured myself that I didn’t need the information because instinctively, I would know what to do—I just needed to listen to my body.

Around that time, my boyfriend and I tried out a few positions for when the contractions got more intense and for the birth itself. We also recorded a video with the camera to capture memories of my beautiful belly. We loved touching it and playing with our baby, who responded from inside. I took a hot shower and recharged with oxytocin through oral sex. Then my partner started filling the birthing pool.

We tried to make the atmosphere more romantic, lowering the shutters to leave only dim light from a lamp on the floor and a few candles. We played relaxing music, including baby songs, as a welcome for our little treasure.

Around midday, Emilio arrived at the door and greeted us warmly. I was supposed to let him know when I had regular contractions every 3 minutes, but Stanislav had already sent him a message to keep him informed. He quickly realized I was still in the early stages, as my contractions weren’t regular or rhythmic yet. In fact, they stopped temporarily while he was there. He advised me to focus on staying upright. He mentioned he’d stay nearby and asked us to call him when the contractions became more frequent.

Sometimes he came by to check how I was feeling (I was still smiling as usual, in the pre-labor phase), and then he left again to give us more privacy. Not once during the entire labor did he perform an internal exam.

I shifted from the all-fours position to squatting, finding it more comfortable to lean slightly forward or rest on my boyfriend for support. Once again, it worked best for me to prepare and relax before the contraction began. If one caught me in an awkward position, it was more uncomfortable.

At one point, I really wanted to get into the pool to refresh myself—I love water so much. I knew it was too early to enter, but I couldn’t resist dipping in for a while. In the water, it was heavenly—I felt wonderful and smiled even more. It was amazing, but the contractions gradually weakened.

Up to that point, everything had been very gentle. To help labor progress, Emilio suggested I go for a walk or climb the stairs of the building. Since it was drizzling, my boyfriend and I chose the stairs. After leaving the pool, the waves came back with double the intensity. I had several contractions while putting on my clothes and even more while putting on my shoes.

On the stairs, I had to stop several times on each floor, leaning on the railing or on Stanislav, but it was all very fun. When we reached the storage room, we discovered a spacious terrace with a beautiful view of Madrid. That’s where we met up with Emilio again.

On the way down, we heard a baby crying inside one of the apartments—it was from a neighbor who had also given birth with Emilio at home in the same building. He went to greet her, and she came to the door, saw us, and later we became friends. Birth isn’t exactly a social time, so I just waved hello and kept going.

During one contraction, another neighbor saw us in a funny position—I was leaning far forward, practically sitting on my boyfriend’s lap, and groaning. From her point of view, my belly wasn’t visible at all. She just said “hello” awkwardly and hurried on her way.

Back home, I returned to the squatting position. Stanislav made sure I always had enough fluids and light food. I didn’t want to eat but had an insatiable thirst, drinking water or juice throughout the labor. I especially loved water with lemon and sometimes honey.

Stan took care of my comfort—massaging me, helping me change positions, making me more comfortable, supporting me, caressing me, maintaining the pool, asking Emilio questions when we had doubts, and ensuring nothing bothered me.

Emilio was perfect—I couldn’t have wished for more. He was very discreet, almost imperceptible, with positive energy. I loved how he let the process flow naturally without intervening in any way. The only thing he did was check the baby’s heart tones from time to time without disturbing me. He spoke little, in a soft voice and with a delicate manner.

He spent much of the time in the adjacent room so as not to infringe on our intimacy.

Then I returned to the pool, and the waves were now quite intense. I didn’t find anything frightening about these contractions; the sensation was similar to my menstrual cramps, but a thousand times better, with the huge difference that the dilation contractions made me feel fortunate and had an incredible purpose!

This time, the water didn’t reduce the intensity, but it felt very comfortable and relaxing to settle into my favorite positions—squatting or kneeling, leaning forward on the inflatable edge. I was deeply immersed in myself, not thinking about anything, without a sense of time, and paying no attention to what was happening around me. Instinctively, I moved my pelvis in figure-eight motions. The water gave me a lot of privacy.

I tried lightly touching my most erogenous zone to see how it felt—it was amazing! During the pauses, I would ask for more fluids. What a wonder this pool was! My bathtub would have been too hard on my knees and too narrow for turning and changing positions. Plus, being shallower, it would’ve been better suited for seated positions, which seemed impossible at this stage.

The contractions grew stronger and stronger. By then, I moved on to a more powerful resource to neutralize them—kissing my boyfriend passionately. Each time I felt the start of a contraction, I would grab him and kiss him deeply and intensely. Just as I had imagined! And that, that had a better effect than all the relaxation and breathing techniques combined!

At first, Stanislav knelt beside the pool, leaning toward me, his lips entwined with mine. Later, he got into the pool. Now I could embrace him and feel him with my whole body. While kissing him, I couldn’t feel the strength of the contractions.

I was enjoying the process—after all, this isn’t something that happens every day! I felt so in love with my wonderful partner, with whom I’ve shared more than seven years of happiness. I needed him so close to me!

I was in another world, but what a beautiful world it was!

I never felt the need for any type of anesthesia. I absolutely wouldn’t describe the birth as painful, even though I’m highly sensitive to pain. Surely, my mindset and emotional state played a huge role. I was so delighted and euphoric that it must have greatly reduced my perception of pain. I loved experiencing those unique sensations. I could feel the intensity of the contractions, but it wasn’t anything sharp—more like a background sensation that I paid little attention to, and I certainly didn’t feel bad. However, in other circumstances—fear, tension, a cold environment, lack of support, being unable to move, etc.—yes, it could have turned into significant pain.

My labor had been going on much longer than I had expected. At one point, I wondered to myself if I had already reached full dilation. I no longer wanted to kiss my boyfriend; instead, I wanted to be alone. Alone, with no one in my line of sight. Up until this point, I had been making low, deep sounds, but now I needed to scream. I was starting to feel tired. My legs felt like I couldn’t stretch them anymore, as if they were about to go numb.

I also felt a strong urge to defecate, unsure if I actually needed to or if the famous urge to push was beginning. I had no prior experience, but I didn’t want to ask. During intermittent monitoring, the baby’s tones didn’t sound as good, and with my growing need, I got out of the water for a moment. I tried for a while on the toilet, but nothing happened. I needed to rest a bit and stretch my legs after so many hours in a squatting position. I mentioned this, and Emilio suggested lying on the bed on my side with one leg raised and supported by Stanislav while I tried to relax as much as possible.

That position was uncomfortable and painful, but I urgently needed a break to regain my strength. By then, I felt very strong urges to push. It was a strange sensation—an intense pressure, especially in my anus—accompanied by loud cries that made me feel better. During one strong push, my water broke. I didn’t see it, as my eyes were closed, but I felt a warm flow of liquid covering my legs, and it was pleasant. They told me the waters were completely clean and clear.

As the contractions grew stronger, Stanislav held my perineum with warm compresses to protect it, which gave me great relief and a sense of safety, enabling me to push without fear of tearing. I wasn’t comfortable on the bed and felt the urge to return to the water. That’s what I did. I stayed squatting in the pool a while longer, this time with warmer water.

Before giving birth, I’d had the idea that this stage wasn’t painful. I’d read that the baby’s head presses on the birth canal in a way that makes it numb, and other women had told me they didn’t feel anything at this point. But for me, it was the opposite—the pushing stage was the most painful part, not the dilation. This surprised me, but I thought about how close I was to meeting my baby. How exciting! I didn’t care if it hurt or not.

I visualized my baby descending smoothly and gently, and my body opening like a flower. I tried to relax my facial and vaginal muscles completely. I spoke to my baby mentally, encouraging and reassuring her, telling her she was doing everything perfectly and knew exactly how to proceed. I reminded her we were so close to meeting each other!

However, this stage wasn’t as easy as I’d expected. It took me a long time and considerable effort. I wanted to try not pushing, instead attempting to transform the urge into a special way of breathing downward, imagining everything happening smoothly and effortlessly. But I hadn’t practiced this technique enough during pregnancy—it had seemed impossible to me at the time that my baby could come out like that. So I abandoned it and decided to follow my instincts. I reminded myself that it’s always best to listen to my body.

I’d also thought I wouldn’t be able to scream or would struggle to release my voice. However, during the later stages of labor, I thought, Why not? I had complete freedom to express myself however I wanted, and I should take advantage of that. So I started letting out powerful screams. What a relief it was! It didn’t feel like enormous pressure anymore, and it brought me closer to my instincts. I don’t think I was screaming from pain, but rather from the intensity of the sensation—my body simply demanded it. I loved screaming, like jumping from a high rock into the sea or riding a roller coaster.

My little one didn’t seem to be in any hurry. I wasn’t sure what to do. I remember Emilio telling me I didn’t need to do anything. From time to time, he discreetly listened to the baby’s heart rate without asking me to change positions, and everything was fine. I kept trying to bring my princess into the world.

At some point, Emilio asked if I could touch her head yet. At first, I thought I couldn’t, but soon enough, I could feel something particularly soft at the peak of each contraction. When the wave passed, it disappeared. I wasn’t sure what it was; it felt so tender and delicate. The doctor confirmed that yes, if it was that soft, it was indeed the baby’s head.

It seemed incredible and so touching! Her head would appear and disappear but wasn’t fully coming out yet. At one point, I got scared, thinking perhaps too much time had passed and that intervention or assistance might be necessary—something I now consider an exaggerated worry. But at that moment, it was the only fear related to birth I hadn’t been able to eliminate.

I didn’t want to dwell on it, but all my thoughts started flooding back. I didn’t understand why it was taking so long, given my baby’s perfect position—left occiput anterior—with her head well-engaged weeks before labor began, and how calm and confident I’d felt up until then. Perhaps it was due to my third sleepless night in the past four days.

I started doubting my ability to do it, but I didn’t want anyone to notice or help me in any way. So I motivated myself and told myself that any moment now, I was going to give birth.

I felt an extreme and burning stretch almost throughout this period, and I tried to remain as relaxed as possible. Suddenly, I changed my position, placing one foot down from my knees and finding myself half-squatting, half-kneeling. I think with the next contraction, I felt my baby’s head come out! I could see it between my legs and touch it—a small, silky, and tousled ball of hair. I groped for a little, precious ear! I loved that infinitely. At that moment, I realized my baby was real! I didn’t even feel the rest of the little body coming out.

My boyfriend, who was already in the pool behind me, later told me he had seen two large, curious eyes looking up from the water and a slightly furrowed brow. Then, with the next one or two waves, the shoulders came out, and the baby’s entire body slid out completely on its own.

I saw a wonderful little creature, connected to a pale blue umbilical cord, starting to float in the water. Excited and impatient, I reached out my hands to bring her to the surface and embrace her. A magical, wonderful girl! I was the first person in the world to touch her, hold her, and hug her!

That moment when I pulled my newborn daughter out of the water and cuddled her to my chest was the most profound and unforgettable moment of my life! Stanislav and I looked at her in awe, enchanted. She looked back at us innocently with curious eyes. She was perfect! More incredible than in our wildest dreams!

So beautiful and delicate—a pink and chubby baby, abundantly covered in vernix. She snorted, making funny little sounds without crying. The umbilical cord was slightly wrapped around her body, which Emilio carefully unwrapped while she was in my arms. Stanislav asked the doctor if babies weren’t supposed to cry at birth, to which he replied that it wasn’t mandatory. We smiled broadly and greeted her.

I focused on her eyes, up close so she could see me. I showered her with kisses, breathed in her scent, pressed her to my body, and caressed her sweet skin and beautiful head. I couldn’t stop telling her how much we loved her and how welcome she was.

This magnificent baby did everything perfectly, in the best possible way—it was her triumph! For us, this meeting was love at first sight with this graceful little girl. The three of us hugged in the water, enchanted and happy. Emilio said something like, “How much happiness is in this room.”

In those first moments, I put her to my left breast, and she began to suckle. Although she didn’t nurse for long, just for a little while, I was so happy she had some colostrum in the first moments of her life. It was early morning when I learned my daughter was born at 5:25 AM.

It all felt like a magical dream. I hadn’t even looked at the clock at any point. In summary, it seems I had approximately a day and a half of prodromal labor, 12 hours of dilation, and 2 hours of pushing. I expected a much faster birth!

But in the end, I told myself how lucky I was to have a relatively long labor—I got to try so many things and experience all those precious moments! What a wonderful doctor I had chosen! And how patient he was! And he let me do everything on my own.

After 15 minutes, we came out of the water, with my baby in my arms, and went to the bathroom. It was just as I stepped out of the pool that I started bleeding, but overall, I bled very little, and almost all of it stayed in the pool.

I sat on the toilet, where Emilio had placed a small basin underneath, and we waited for the placenta to come out. With my baby suckling in my arms, the placenta came out spontaneously almost immediately. Then Stanislav cut the umbilical cord. The doctor examined the placenta carefully to make sure it was complete, and it was.

My princess and I headed to the bed, both of us naked, cuddled up, and we covered ourselves with towels and blankets to stay warm. She lay naked on my chest, and I couldn’t stop caressing her. In that moment, all she needed was me.

Emilio carefully measured the circumference of her head and, just as she lay on my chest, briefly lifted her in a sling to weigh her. 4180 grams! What a big first baby! I didn’t have any tears, just two small superficial scratches on the labia majora that didn’t require stitching and healed within a few days.

After the birth, I recovered very quickly. And I still think about her birth every single day. Before giving birth, I was ecstatic imagining it, and now I’m overjoyed remembering it.